I've been meaning to write. Things have happened, as they usually do. I am sure I had stories to share. I can't remember most of them right now.
My knee is doing a lot better, thanks for asking (no seriously, you've all been asking. Thank you so much for your concern and care.) I haven't been able to run yet, but I can get up and down stairs pretty well now and even walk like a normal person. My knee still gets super tired pretty quickly, and there are things I can't do - last night while I was distracted I forgot and tried to get into bed normally, by lifting myself with my left knee. It was probably the worst thing I've done in the past week. But seriously I didn't even wear a brace yesterday (though I might today).
As for rugby (yes that is what this post is about. I promise I tried to talk about something else): So ever since I got injured the response was "I'll rest so that I'll be okay for the Varsity game." My confidence in my ability to be okay by March 5th went up and down, but that was mostly the goal. And then I realized that, unlike most other games, since this game is actually a big deal, there would be an early squad selection and lots of practice that week. (I know I should have known this before but honestly I didn't get a feel for just how big a deal Varsity is for the Panthers until this started) So basically I didn't need to be fine by Saturday, I needed to be fine by the previous Monday. I knew I couldn't do this.
I'm not gonna lie, I spent an evening feeling very disappointed and sorry for myself over this. It's kind of a big deal - the only game that people besides our team really cares about. They really celebrate it. And of my friends on the team who have been at it since October like I have, I was, to my knowledge, the only one not chosen for the team. It didn't feel good. But in all reality? It's definitely for the best. Not only because I need my knee to not get hurt again, but also, not having all this pressure on me to prepare for the game has taken a huge amount of stress off of my shoulders. It will be REALLY nice to just watch. Also, I feel that the Lord has taken this opportunity to teach me about humility - or more specifically about how to be honestly excited for the fortune and opportunity of my friends, without letting the fact that I don't get to partake in that get in the way at all. The team has been great, inviting me to stay with them and stuff even if I don't play on Saturday, but it's been a little weird to be so surrounded by my friends who are excited and have every right to be so, when I don't really know what they are feeling because I'm not in that boat. It's been a learning experience, but a good one. I want to be able to really strongly support and encourage others' excitement no matter what my own situation looks like.
Oh! I remembered one of the stories I wanted to share: Ok after hurting my knee over a week ago on a Sunday, I skipped every practice for a week, including the Sunday morning development practice (the same type I sprained my knee during). Or at least I thought I did. I had a really rough morning that day. Not rough as in painful, rough as in depressed. I often feel rather down or without energy but that day was REALLY bad. Seriously. I tried to make pancakes and not even that cheered me up. I didn't even take good enough care of the pancakes as to not burn half of them. I took a shower in the middle of the morning and decided that I would at least go and watch the game that the others were playing that afternoon, even if I missed the development practice in the morning. I wore jeans, a t-shirt, and a plaid flannel - not what I'm used to wearing down to the pitch!
When I showed up, one of the girls from the development session was there, and my first thought was oh good! they encouraged the newer girls to come watch the game! I was looking forward to sitting with her and watching our team win! And she asked if I was here for the development session. Apparently there was an email about it that I didn't bother to read (because I wasn't going right?) saying that it had been moved to 2-4pm that day (basically the exact same time at the game). Still, It's not like I could really practice. I got to say hi to all the girls on the team and tell them about the improvement my knee had made (that was the day I finally bought a decent knee brace), and Oakly (our coach) asked if I could help with the development session organization - it was in a slightly different location because of the game, and there is attendance paperwork everyone needed to sign, etc.
I'm not gonna lie, I spent an evening feeling very disappointed and sorry for myself over this. It's kind of a big deal - the only game that people besides our team really cares about. They really celebrate it. And of my friends on the team who have been at it since October like I have, I was, to my knowledge, the only one not chosen for the team. It didn't feel good. But in all reality? It's definitely for the best. Not only because I need my knee to not get hurt again, but also, not having all this pressure on me to prepare for the game has taken a huge amount of stress off of my shoulders. It will be REALLY nice to just watch. Also, I feel that the Lord has taken this opportunity to teach me about humility - or more specifically about how to be honestly excited for the fortune and opportunity of my friends, without letting the fact that I don't get to partake in that get in the way at all. The team has been great, inviting me to stay with them and stuff even if I don't play on Saturday, but it's been a little weird to be so surrounded by my friends who are excited and have every right to be so, when I don't really know what they are feeling because I'm not in that boat. It's been a learning experience, but a good one. I want to be able to really strongly support and encourage others' excitement no matter what my own situation looks like.
Oh! I remembered one of the stories I wanted to share: Ok after hurting my knee over a week ago on a Sunday, I skipped every practice for a week, including the Sunday morning development practice (the same type I sprained my knee during). Or at least I thought I did. I had a really rough morning that day. Not rough as in painful, rough as in depressed. I often feel rather down or without energy but that day was REALLY bad. Seriously. I tried to make pancakes and not even that cheered me up. I didn't even take good enough care of the pancakes as to not burn half of them. I took a shower in the middle of the morning and decided that I would at least go and watch the game that the others were playing that afternoon, even if I missed the development practice in the morning. I wore jeans, a t-shirt, and a plaid flannel - not what I'm used to wearing down to the pitch!
When I showed up, one of the girls from the development session was there, and my first thought was oh good! they encouraged the newer girls to come watch the game! I was looking forward to sitting with her and watching our team win! And she asked if I was here for the development session. Apparently there was an email about it that I didn't bother to read (because I wasn't going right?) saying that it had been moved to 2-4pm that day (basically the exact same time at the game). Still, It's not like I could really practice. I got to say hi to all the girls on the team and tell them about the improvement my knee had made (that was the day I finally bought a decent knee brace), and Oakly (our coach) asked if I could help with the development session organization - it was in a slightly different location because of the game, and there is attendance paperwork everyone needed to sign, etc.
Now I have to remind you at this point: these development sessions are awesome. They are designed to help get more girls into rugby. And they are taught by two capped England players - one of them currently playing for England in the 6 Nations. It's been such an amazing opportunity and honestly an honor to take part in these.
We had three brand new people that day and it was great! Always fantastic to see new faces, especially with the coppers soon. Kat got there shortly and I explained that I couldn't play (and also why j was wearing jeans! :p ) but I got to help a bit, got us some pads and equipment etc, explained how the schedules work to the new girls. Kat is a back, and so she started them out doing some fun footwork stuff that I obviously couldn't do (I can't run much less do footwork!) and they did really well I must say. Rocky showed up soon after and I got to talk to her for a bit discussing which f the girls she knew were playing today (the game way underway on the pitch, we were off to the side. The Panthers did REALLY well!) then because Rocky knew I was the only one who had had scum training (and probably the only forward there) she actually took me aside and basically thought me to be a prop! I had the basic knowledge but no one had ever really say me down and explained what a prop's job was, much less the difference in how to play either side (tight or loose). Even with my knee I was able to go through some basic movements with her. It was really good. Made me want to get batter and get back into our scrum!
Ok it's getting late. I swear I will make a post about my studies and the rest of my life soon. But for now, SHOE THE TABS, Panthers! It's gonna be a bit hard to sit by and watch but I am so proud of everyone on our team. Thank you for having me.
Rissa
Praise God from whom all blessings flow, praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts, praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.
P.S. "Shoe the Tabs" means "Beat Cambridge".
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