Sorry again for the long break in between these posts. Although honestly if I blogged every day, it might be just as jarring in change of mood than it is when I let weeks go by.
This week and last weekend have been really lovely. If we are friends on Facebook, then you have probably seen the many, many pictures and videos I posted recently from my trip to Warwick Castle. I'm not gonna lie, I mostly went to see their trebuchet, and that probably shows in the photo album. (trust me, I only posted like 1/3 of the pictures I took of Ursa - that's her name, btw).
If you didn't know, I took this trip as a celebration of my birthday, which was actually two days later on Monday (I went early because they didn't have as many events lined up on my actual birthday - including no trebuchet! The horror!) I had a bit of an.... adventure with the trains getting there. (Basically I missed my first train by a matter of moments, and the next train was a slightly different route, I missed my proper exchange station, went too far, and then had to walk to a different station and wait for another train to take me back where I wanted to go! The train company was really good about it though and helped me out.) And a lot of the stuff at the castle was kind of childish (don't ever bother with their "castle dungeon" things) but it was fun. And it was good to be out of Oxford for a bit.
My actual birthday was also really, really, really nice. I had considered doing something, like seeing a show in London, but that sounded stressful, so instead I opted to simply not. do. work. The weather was GORGEOUS, so that helped. Also, upon waking up, the first thing I found, sitting right outside my door, was a cake! My neighbor Simon, who bakes a lot, had made me a surprise birthday cake! So later that day I was able to have a bit of a laid-back celebration of my own by just inviting some of my best Wycliffe friends over to share the cake :) It was (is! there is still some in the fridge downstairs) a very dense, fudgy, cake, and it was marvelous. In between the morning and then, I took a nice walk around Oxford (They have been filming the next series of Endeavor around town lately, and I swung by a few of their locations - I didn't see anyone really as they were filming inside, but I saw their trucks and equipment, etc. I'm just so happy that they are making more!) and met for tea with two friends from the US who are around for a conference (and whom I met while they were on study abroad semesters here with Wycliffe) and we got to chat for a long time, which was just really, really nice. In the evening, I went to a fancier get-together that another friend was having (someone else at Wycliffe has the exact same birthday as me!), and to cap it all off I skyped my sisters back home at 10pm, to wish them happy birthday too! (And Cami sent me the most amazing of birthday presents. Fight me. I died. I'm actually dead writing this.) So yes all around lovely - I didn't do any work Or play any video games (shocker!) and I spend the whole day talking with friends. It was great.
I've had some trouble transitioning form this weekend of celebration back into the workweek, however. I was able to ask my supervisor for a new topic suggestion last week though and I think I've finally FINALLY got some idea for a paper worked out. Now I just have to DO it. But my supervisor has been super helpful. And he's making me feel a bit better about my ability to get these papers done over the summer.
Speaking of summer, I really need to get my plans in gear for that and find rooms! I've pushed my travels back until July, so I've got some time, but not much! And dwindling fast!
Finally, I got to write up my thesis title application this week (not a big deal for the BPhil, as it's not binding). And I am very surprised that this was a "got to", and not "had to", as that's exactly what it was feeling like right up until the point I started writing it. But it actually wrote itself really nicely and easily, and I'm actually know of excited to keep on looking into it. I just really hope that it gets approved and that I get put with a good supervisor - there has been some concern raised about who at Oxford could possible supervise my inquiry into Video Games within philosophy. So we shall see. But as I told a friend last night: If this gets denied I simply DON'T HAVE another topic. And what I mean by that is this: I don't have anything else I care about any more.
I'm gonna try to say all this without getting depressed again but the facts stand thus: At this point I'm not sure I really care about philosophy much anymore. When I got here I cared about metaphysics, ethics, epistemology, Plato and Aristotle, lots of stuff. Nowadays I don't really want to be writing essays in those regards. Especially not a up-to-30000-word dissertation! But I do care about video games. They might be one of the few things I do still care about. So if I can't write on this topic? I'm not sure what the point of the BPhil will be anymore.
So yeah. Prayers of praise and of petition I guess. I had a really wonderful birthday weekend, but I'm having trouble getting back to work, and moreover, there is an important decision about my work next year that is completely out of my hands, but could really make or break the rest of my time in Oxford.
Thanks guys. Thanks for sticking with me through thick and thin. The amount of support I've received because people like you read this blog has been really staggering.
Rissa
Praise God from whom all blessings flow, praise him all creatures here below, praise him above ye heavenly hosts. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.
