Beyond Two Souls

When you have to be talked down from starting your third playthrough of a videogame in a two week period (thanks Nat), it's time to write a blog post.

Beyond: Two Souls is another of those games that I've been wanting to play for a LONG TIME. Everyone told me it had a moving story, a great female main character, interesting mechanics, great visuals - and they were all right. But I ended up liking this game even more than I thought I would!

I honestly haven't played a ton of games in the style that Telltale has since come to dominate - games that are somehow both very linear and also heavily invested in the choices made by the player. But of those I've played, this one is probably the strongest - even if its choices arguably have less meaning than some other games (aka the different chapters don't effect one another as much as some games). It's the one where I really bought in to the world and emotions of the characters the most, and the one where I felt the most like all choices really were valid.

Beyond Two Souls didn't have one special moment that blew me away. And it doesn't really even have a central theme I found inspiring. I just really love playing it, and it is an example of an extremely well designed game. (even if the controls themselves - esp as I'm playing the PS4 version - can be frustrating). It's also an extremely ambitious (the amount of character models alone!) and surprisingly well executed game.

It's rather rare for me to play a game with multiple, at times moral choices, and feel at all comfortable going either way. Normally I feel terrible going either way, or I feel rather confident that there is one right choice to be made. But Beyond Two Souls gives its characters the real believable complexity required to normally justify all options. Is there a Jodie and an Aiden who act out in anger a lot, leaving broken windows and dead bodies behind them? Yes. Is there a calmer, non-violent Jodie and Aiden who follow rules and don't hate their life? Also yes. And what's even better is that this is in no way a bianary choice the player makes. There isn't a Paragon and a Renegade Jodie and Aiden.

Another thing that's remarkable is that the same feel true of the not-intentionally chosen routes. The route where Jodie is an expert martial artist who never fails a block, punch, or dodge feels just as right as the one where Jodie gets much more beat up and has to try much harder to physically defend herself - because the player is bad at quick time events (can you tell I'm bad at the combat in this game?) Quantic Dream have created a world where all of the possibilities really do feel possible, and that is quite a feat in my mind.

I've been trying to pin down what it is I love about this game, and it's been hard. It's very pretty, for one thing. The acting and all of the visual art and audio work is terrific. Ellen Page did a really fantastic job, and I love the freedom they gave her to do the emotional work she does. I also LOVE the design of Jodie, both character-wise and visually. The story is compelling, and extremely varied, all despite it's non-chronological order (which is the correct way. fight me). And Jodie and Aiden are super interesting. I enjoyed being Jodie, and being with her, and the same for Aiden. I mentioned in my Uncharted post that I enjoy being Lara Croft and enjoy hanging out with Nathan Drake? I enjoy both for Jodie and for Aiden. Even when I'm disagreeing with them.

I also really respect this game for working so hard even on content that statistically not everyone or not many people see. It's obvious that a lot of work went into every part of this game, and I want to see every part of it, and I know that this has always been a part of games and has become more common as this type of storytelling has taken off, but it says a lot for a studio to invest that much without forcing you too look at everything.

As I said, I think the order things are introduced is well designed, but I also like that this game does not baby it's audience, either. It often does not tell you all of the options available to you. It just let you behave how you wish. Now, were there times it forced me to do things, or forbade them? yes of course. But I enjoyed the lack of instruction, which allowed for actual problem solving.

I was listening to a podcast recently in which someone was talking about how they loved learning the rules of a fictional world, the rules of a story (it was Griffin McElroy in Wonderful!, talking about the rules of horror films in particular). And I think that was one of the things that I really enjoyed about this game. Not only discovering the mechanics and discovering what all I had the ability to choose, plot-wise, but also discovering the rules of the story itself - how spirits work, that sort of thing. and of course finding out who Aiden is, and who Jodie is too. Discovering her past, and her relationships, and her character as it unfolds, and as I unfold it.

Another part of my fascination with this game is, undoubtedly, it's ties to other works. Specifically, how I absolutely 100% refuse to believe that the people who wrote Stranger Things have not played this game. There are 2-3 scenes in Stranger Things (seasons 1 and 2) that bear such resemblance it almost feels uncanny (specifically, the Beyond Two Souls chapters "Broken", "The Condenser" and "Norah", among others). And it's GOOD content too. Now, I'm not saying anything bad here about Stranger Things, not at all, they are both terrific. But it surprised me to find THAT much of a resemblance.

Wow, I managed to go that whole blog post without any major spoilers. Well, if it would whet your interest, I'll give a quick plot summary here (because I want to discuss this game!): <SPOILERS> Jodie is a girl who has been connected since birth to an entity names Aiden - a sort of poltergeist who is always with her and who she can talk to, even if he doesn't talk back. At the end of the game it turns out that it is the soul of her twin brother, who was stillborn. Jodie is also plagued by other spirits, invisible monsters which attack here, and are from another world, the same world as Aiden. Jodie and Aiden it turns out were the result of a government experiment, the children of two "gifted" parents. Jodie is at first raised by adoptive parents (although not told they are adoptive), and then by Drs. Dawkins and Cole, who I was super pleasantly surprised by because while they do technically monitor and run experiments with Jodie, they genuinely do care for her and want to understand and protect, not abuse her. Very good subversion of a trope there. Because she is kind of owned by the government, Jodie is later forcibly recruited by the CIA, and uses her abilities, or rather Aiden's abilities - which include seeing from afar, some control over electronics and limited telekinetic, seeing visions based on the past of an object or body she can touch, speaking to other ghosts/allowing ghosts to speak through her, some healing ability, and the ability to combat evil spirits - for their murky purposes. Until one day the CIA takes things to far, using her to take out someone who it turns out is not the warlord they called him but the democratically elected president of a war-torn state. Jodie flees the CIA and violently puts down the agents to come after her. She spends some time on the run - spending a winter under a bridge with some really wonderful homeless people, and a summer in the Navajo lands in Arizona, among other things - before returning to try and find more about her mother. She is eventually captured by the CIA and offered a deal. One more mission, and she can go free. This mission of course goes south, and then even after it's over, the CIA betray her and try to put her out of commission forever. They are interrupted however by the doctor who helped raise Jodie. He has since become rather obsessed with the idea of opening a rift between the worlds - which happens at various times in the game and is always super DUPER dangerous and bad and never good - thinking that it will allow him to see his dead wife and daughter again. in the end Jodie saves the world and is given the choice to continue living, but be separated from Aiden, or to give up living and join him in the Beyond. And if she chooses life, after spending several months alone to herself trying to process this tragedy, Jodie can choose to return to live life with some of the friends (or possibly love interests) she met along the way. </SPOILERS>

Sorry that was so long. It's a complex game. One of the things I really enjoyed about how it was told was actually the space it is given. The time. Jodie is allowed to have emotions - strong ones. I think the voice acting really brought this out. She's allowed rage, and terror, and crushing depression. She's allowed to sob and to scream and to stay silent. She's allowed indifference, and quiet, and desperation, and stillness. She is also at times allowed laughter and love and appreciation. And I really enjoyed it. She is allowed to be alone, or allowed to help and be helped by friends, and allowed time for both. Once again, this game, while it is defined by moments of choice, doesn't make you really choose Paragon or Renegade. But it's choices still feel weighty, and like they matter, because whatever you chose you still live out.

The reason I wrote this post tonight is because I wanted to discuss this game. But also because I realized that that desire comes from something deeper.

I want to talk about... anything other than my life, and it's current status. And I don't even mean that in a running-away sense. I mean that I am bored. Bored with "how are you?" being the main topic of discussion. Bored of updates, and every day life. I miss real discussion - I miss the stories that matter. I miss talking about ideas, real ideas, and not just talking about them, discovering them.

The reason I ever was a philosopher was, I think, this desire to discuss ideas. Discussing things with friends that really matter. Deeply matter. And are intricate and tricky and interesting, and have perspective. Things like God, and ethics, and art, and gender. Not of how I'm doing but who I am.

Something about my time in Oxford - or maybe even the summer before, ever since I left JBU - I feel like I have been cut off from those things. And not only from them, but way worse than that. Cutt off from the love of them. Which seems so backwards, doesn't it? That studying for a masters in philosophy at Oxford University would cut me off from my love of discussing ideas? But it did. I don't know if I was just intimidated by the imposition of academia (I was) or tired of being out of my depth (I was that too), or scared of having to be the best to be anything (and again, this for sure). But it was like that whole thing was... ruined, somehow. And I don't know what to do about that. I don't know how to take that back.

It reminds me of the soty my mom always likes to tell about me doing - or rather not doing - voice lessons when I was younger. My sister started going to voice lessons, and my mom offered that I could go too. And I told her that I enjoyed singing far too much to take voice lessons. I enjoyed it too much for someone to tell me that I was doing it wrong. I don't know how I came by such wisdom at such an age, but I wish I had held on to that. Because that's exactly what Oxford did to me. It took from me something I once loved. And could I have held on to it? Is this barrier simply the fact that I am scared of hard work and dedication? Yes. Undoubtedly. If I was a stronger person, I might still find joy in philosophy. But I'm not. And I'm not convinced that it's worth it, either.

It seems like the only way I could enjoy philosophy again is to let it go back to a hobby, and work hard to make it an enjoyable hobby again, not just a reminder of suffering, failure, and depression. But I do have two degrees in it, and nothing else to my name.

I've been struggling a LOT recently with figuring out what to do next. Do I try to re-enter academia? Or would that kill me? If not, WHAT do I do? Where do I go? What will I not hate?

I don't know the answer to this or any other question. But I'm trying hard to convince myself that I don't need to answer those questions before I try and seek out meaningful discussion. Because right now, I'm running pretty dry on things that I find life-giving. And I'm always surprised by how much life long, meaningful discussion of ideas with friends can be.

I really miss having friends in person too. Friends I can meet up with and touch. Getting really tired of really only having skype, even if I'm always on it. But that's another story.

Thanks for listening - sorry that devolved from a game discussion into all of... that. TL;DR: Please come talk to me. Why not about this game? Also, if you can, play Beyond Two Souls.

Thank you for reading

Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise him all creatures here below. Praise him above ye heavenly hosts. Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Amen.

R