First let me say, technically this hasn't been just one long holiday. We're off-term and I REALLY need to be working on my thesis now - which I did get some work on yesterday - but I've had altogether about a week's worth of being out of town and it's been very good.
But I am also sick - again. Y'all. I. Keep. Getting. Sick. I don't know if it's the stress or what. I'm used to my body doing whatever this is - basically a cold, though I have been told before it's allergies? I don't know. It acts a lot like a cold, normally lasts ~5-6 days. Anyway I'm used to my body doing this 2-3 times a year, but I think this is the 3-4th time since January, and it's only just now April. And I am getting real sick of it. Mostly it is constituted by an extremely sore throat, a stopped nose, and by far the worst of these, really terrible pressure between my ears and on my sinuses. Like this time it's especially bad -even moving my eyes too quickly actually hurts/gives me a headache. I've been taking a great deal of medicine and that seems to be helping but uhg. Yuck. I am very tired, and wearing my glasses can be difficult. They make my eyes feel better but my nose and face feel worse.
Okay anyway enough about that. Holiday!
First, the real holiday, my terrific friend Lizzy invited me to go with her to north Devon, because I said that I hadn't ever really been to the sea, besides the gulf of mexico and the northern Irish coast. And so, we drove out to Woolacombe, to a flat of her grandparents', and spent four days my the sea. It was REALLY lovely. I could sit for hours just watching. We took a few walks along the rocky parts of the shoreline, and spent some time down on the sand too, and eventually donned wetsuits and took to surfing! That was amazing fun! I've never really understood the appeal of surfing before, but it was REALLY fun. Also utterly exhausting. (also: I don't mean like long-board-standing-up surfing. Shorter boards and laying down, but still REALLY fun.) We also played a LOT of board games, which I enjoyed - I've found that all of my Oxford friends love board games, where very few of my US friends do (with the exception of Settlers of Catan, for some). We even played through a game of monopoly in pretty good time - something which I don't think I've ever actually done. The only problem we ran into during this trip was that when we first got there, there was some electrical trouble, and the boiler stopped working. As such, we didn't have hot water on tap or the radiators working for heating. We mostly compensated via the use of blankets and tea and a hot water bottle. But all in all it was really great. Lizzy taught me to surf and at least tried to teach me how to throw a cricket ball, and a new board game (well, and old game which I hadn't played before) which was really fun called Millionaire. The sea and whole area there was simply gorgeous, and I had a wonderful time. Thank you, Lizzy!
After coming home very VERY exhausted, I had about a week to attempt work on my thesis before just last weekend heading out again, this time to London, where I met up with a friend, Nathan, to attend EGX Rezzed - a three day game dev conference. Now mind, this wasn't comic con - this wasn't the kind of place where big companies have big panels and lots of celebrities and actors are there. This was a place where a lot of indie game devs got together to show off their awesome and innovative games, and give talks on game development, journalism, etc. I had a really great time going around and playing new games, and attending some of the talks. So I'm going to try and split this up in a more rational order:
First, games! My favorite game at Rezzed, one of the few I bought while at the conference without even waiting to get home was Stories Untold. To describe Stories Untold all I need to do is ask: Have you seen Stranger Things? If you have, know that while Stories Untold is not based on Stranger Things, it fills the EXACT same aesthetic niche. It's spooky, and retro, and amazing. There are four chapters, like four short stories, and I've only played the first one, but it is SO good. And very innovative, very different from most games I've played. The first chapter, The House Abandon, is like game is like a game within a game, and is a text adventure like none I've played before. Really great. Even watching other people's reaction while playing it was great! And I got to talk to one of the lead devs who made it too - that's one of the funnest parts of Rezzed. Even if you don't normally play games, if you like Stranger Things, PLEASE go try Stories Untold. It's pretty cheap on Steam!
Another game which really interested me was called Herald. Herald is a point-and-click adventure, very narrative driven, with multiple ways the plot can go, which the dev team calls "An Interactive Period Drama" - like how could that be bad, right? But it's even better. It's set an an alternate version of the 19th century and stars one of the most diverse cast of characters I have seen in any video game - it's about dealing with inequality and dealing with other people and it's just REALLY REALLY PRETTY. The art style is a gorgeous mix of 3D and 2D art and animation and I am in love with it after just playing the demo! I bought the game at Rezzed and look forward to playing the rest. Once again, even if you're not normally into games, if you like stories with very diverse casts and you like period dramas, please go look up Herald.
Lets' see, what else? One game I really enjoyed but isn't available to buy (I talked to the dev and he called it a "proof of concept" and said that Rezzed was helping him find the bugs - was a tablet game called Uncanny Valerie. It is from what I can tell about a disgraced robot engineer who has made a robot using personality aspects based on her ex-girlfriend. It was a really clever form of narrative delivery, and though it had some mechanical bugs, I really enjoyed it.
The team that made Sir, You are Being Hunted was also there with a new game called The Signal from Tรถlva, that was pretty fun. You explore a world dominated by three factions of robots by hacking into robots of your own. There was a beautiful little game called Lost Words told through a girl's journal and about her imagination. There were several cool VR games, including one which I didn't get the name of about a blind woman who suffers from paranoia, and a cool turn-based cyber-punk game called Augmented Empire. I got to play a few indie games on the new Nintendo Switch (the controllers are smaller than I imagined), and loads of other very creative titles, I wish I could remember them all, but they do blur together a bit. Had a great time. Went to one of the partied afterwords where they had retro games too, won my first ever try at Street Fighter, and found out that I am very very good at the old game Duck Hunter.
I also got to meet most of the team from one of my favorite YouTube shows, Outside Xbox (and Outside Extra, their second channel). They were amazing, and REALLY nice. They had an official meet and greet which I was unfortunately a bit late for - the queue was so long they ran out of time! - but fortunately when Nathan and I stopped for lunch, I ran into 4/5 of them in the hallway and got to say hi, and thank you, and get a picture. Like I said they are all super nice. As I told them, watching them do what they do was one of the things that inspired me to try out podcasting! They are also the reason I came to EGX Rezzed - not just to meet them of course, but I hadn't heard about the conference at all until they mentioned it on their show. I'm sure none of them are reading this now, but thank you, Jane, Andy, Ellen, Luke, Mike, and the rest of the Oxbox/Oxtra team!
As for the more serious side of this conference - not that games aren't serious, but I mean personal to me. There was also a side of this conference aimed at people who want to get involved in the games industry. Which hey, that includes me. When I decided to go to Rezzed I was really excited about this - I thought that maybe I could finally find someone and ask them "so what can a philosopher do in videogames, and how do I start that?". I thought it would bring some confirmation that this IS a thing I can do! But... I don't know that it did. In fact, maybe the opposite. I talked to a few people. There were several Universities there, but all of them mostly run Bachelors courses in game design, programming, and art. And... I really don't want to dive back into a Bachelor's degree. I talked to some devs, but all of them to be honest kind of looked at me funny when I said I was neither programmer nor artist, but doing a masters in the humanities. Most of them tried to encourage me saying that well a degree in gaming isn't needed if you just have a good portfolio and can show that you're passionate and willing to learn. And.... guys let's face it I don't have anythign LIKE a portfolio. I've got a few academic papers - maybe like 2 that I am actually proud of - and a half-assed go at a home-brew Mass Effect RPG based in D&D 5e, and three episodes of a podcast that Hannah and Hannah and I are making. I have basically NO practical skills at anything, and even less to show for it. :/ And I honestly don't know what to do about that. I don't know that I can work in gaming. And I'm not involved in the community enough to handle that side of it either. I don't want to be steeped in the drama and I kind of hate Reddit.
Right now I feel like the only things that sound at all appealing are working in the games industry or in eduaction, and I feel like I am nowhere near qualified nor have the skill to actually work in either.
As I've said before, for a while now I guess my kind of "dream job" would be to work for a team like Extra Credits (or Outside Xbox!) on YouTube. But all of those people already HAVE their teams, and they certainly don't need my help! The Extra Credits team uses lots of artists, sure, but I'm not an artist. I guess I could offer to help writing, but they already have James and Dan and Chris and... yeah. They've all got experience in the industry, and I just don't. I'm not creative. I don't have ideas for games. I just want to help make them better, and talk about what they can teach us. I don't think I have it in me to do a PhD. ... right now I just want to line up a job that can support me which I don't hate. But all of them seem to be locked off by either a PhD or by an industry with no use for me.
Sorry for ending this on a bit of a downer. I shouldn't talk about this stuff when I'm feeling sick. In other news, I've been playing Mass Effect Andromeda, and liking it more the more I play! It is, as I fist imagined, basically just Dragon Age Inquisition In Space, much closer to that than it is to Mass Effect 3 (which is probably the best videogame ever made). But hey - DAI is a good good game, and setting it in space is working!
Okay, I'm gonna go take a shower now. Just wanted to give an update, since it's been a while, and one heck of a break so far. Thanks for reading.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow, praise him all creatures here below, praise him above ye heavenly hosts. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.
R
P.S.
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