I feel like I've been run over by a train

But that is, surprisingly, not that bad of a thing.

It's 8th week. End of term. Everyone has to have their last meeting before Christmas, all that lot. I've got an essay do before I go home (I GET TO GO HOME FOR CHRISTMAS BECAUSE MY SISTER IS THE BEST (she's better than you.Yes you. Also better than me but let's face it that doesn't take as much :P) Anyway. I've had a really great but utterly exhausting last few days. Mom, if you're reading: as a warning, I may actually sleep through the first week I'm home. Cami, if you're reading: make sure and wake me up for the Star War premiere if I'm still asleep then.

The biggest thing is that this is the first time that I've had rugby practice on back-to-back days. We're fully into contact stuff now and have been working on rucking for the last few weeks. For those who don't know, rucking involves, after a tackle is made, two (or more) players competing over the ball by trying to shove each other away from it. Basically it involves running low to the ground, trying to get lower than all the shorter people against you, and slamming your shoulders into other people's shoulders, trying to hold them off until someone else can get the ball, or push them over until you've got access to the ball. I am still, honestly, not very good at rugby. I know this. But I'm still enjoying it, especially on Thursdays. Mom, if you're still reading: When I'm not sleeping I might make a long-term dream of yours come true by actually accompanying you to the gym sometimes :P And for ALL of those ruggers who keep asking: I still don't have an official position, but 4 people have now told me that I will very likely be a prop. So you can stop asking now :P

Other than that, my second essay went a lot quicker than the first, but I'm not sure if it's what it should be. It's about 3 times shorter and has a more straightforward thesis and is less exegetical, but I think it's made the leap from "ancient philosophy paper" to "ethics paper dealing with Aristotle" so we'll see what my supervisor thinks.

I've got a meeting tomorrow with some high-ups in the phil. department to discuss some of my concerns, many of which I've expressed here - general feeling of unpreparedness and not knowing what all I'm "allowed" to do, what's expected of me, how to use the bphil well, etc. The meeting started because I mentioned that I had concerns in my self-reporting thing, but now I feel like I've made a more official complaint than I meant to, and have sorted some of it out on my own. I guess it'll still be good to meet and voice some of this? I just feel kinda dumb. I've started to talk more with a few other students, and they seem to feel like I do, rather overwhelmed. I think I remember one saying something which I couldn't agree with more: it can't be 8th week! I haven't learned anything yet! - it's been 8 weeks of a tidal wave of information and opinions washing over us and I've no idea what to do with any of it.

In other news, Advent started, as you all probably know. I say probably because though I'm familiar with Christmas, in all honesty I'm not used to Advent. People sometimes say it back home but it's not the same. It's been 9 weeks now that I've been going to St. Aldates and being a part of Wycliffe Hall and though I wouldn't consider myself an Anglican, being a part of these church of England communities has been really good. Eye opening, challenging at times, even awkward occasionally, but good. They have a much bigger sense of advent than I am used to and it's nice. They have a sense of the presence of God, if that makes sense. Not all CoE congregations, I'm sure, but these two do.

All in all, I think I've finally started to make a few friends, more than acquaintances. Yesterday alone I had three REALLY good and looong conversations with people (one from philosophy, one from church, and one from the SCIO program here at Wycliffe) and three more the day before (at Wycliffe Formal Hall) that were just what I needed, before I knew I needed it :) God is good.

Okay, it's only 6:30 but I want to crawl in bed. I guess I'll at least shower first. Thanks as always for reading!

Praise God from whom all blessings flow, praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.