I was just passing...

Dear reader, you may not know this, but it has now become a bit of a pattern for me that every time I encounter a work of art which sparks love in my heart, I begin to write a blog post about it. And then, about four paragraphs in, I set the post aside to finish later - either from business or a struggle to find the words I wish to say. The draft is then abandon, as I move on to other beautiful works of art. Here's to hoping that this post will not become part of this tragic and repetitive tail.

The reason I make these posts - and the reason I almost never go back and finish the ones I abandon - is because part of what makes a piece of art meaningful is the context in which we encounter it. This is not to say that the meaning of art is completely subjective, of course, but that context plays an important role. I often feel the impact of this. I often describe my favorite works as having "no right to be as good as they are". These are works that I feel ought to be objectively considered as good, but in my own personal estimation achieve the level of marvelous. These are works that speak to me in ways I did not know I needed to be spoken to - that teach me things I did not know I did not know. Works that seem to see me, and tell me what I need to hear - or rather lead me by the hand through my own dark mind. And they almost always come from the most unexpected quarter.

For example, here is a short list of the blog posts which I have begun, and left unfinished thusfar:

• The Adventure Zone - D&D McElboy Podcast I cannot believe I haven't posted about yet
• Alice isn't Dead and Within the Wires - scripted podcasts I adore
• Horizon Zero Dawn - video game
• The Queen's Thief - book series
• Sryth - online text adventure game
• Dishonored (game series) and Neverwhere (book)

They've really started to accumulate, haven't they? I hope to return to some of these soon, because they really really deserve it. It will be difficult to get back into the mindset of when I first encountered them, and what they taught me. But sometimes time helps this process more the hurts.

That said - and here is the turn - I've come today to talk about yet another work entirely. As with my previous post about Colette and Professor Marston and the Wonder Women, not all of you will like/approve of this latest work but I've been been doing basically nothing this past week besides 1.) Watching the USWNT bring home their FOURTH WORLD CUP!!!! ☆☆☆☆ - I should make an entire post about my love for this amazing team. I have never had a single sports bone in my body, have never cared for a team in my life, but I love and adore every single player on the USWNT and I am so blessed to watch them play. 

Oh, and 2.) Watching (and, I admit, rewatching) Gentleman Jack. 

For those unaware, Gentleman Jack is a recently released BBC/HBO TV series (short series - it has one full season consisting of 8 ~1.5h long episodes atm) inspired by the real life story - and fastidiously kept diaries - of a women named Anne Lister, a landowner from Halifax, England, set in 1832-4. Anne is, to put it mildly for her time, "gender non-conforming" and is a savvy business woman, an intelligent student of the medical sciences, a world traveller, a mountain climber, and a great lover of women. In fact, Anne is generally referred to as 'the first modern lesbian', and her diaries - which were partially written in a simple code of her own devising - are some of the best historical documents describing the life and thoughts of someone who "love[d] and only love[d] the fairer sex".

One of the most interesting things about Gentleman Jack is how it embraces its setting. This not only means how it embraces Halifax and Shibden Hall and the surrounds - it is so wonderful that this show, though fictionalized, can be filmed in the exact same real life location that the real Anne Lister lived - but also embracing it's time period in a number of curious ways, which I haven't encountered much in period dramas before.

There are many ways in which Gentleman Jack can be compared to any other period romance, such as Austen or, particularly, the Brontes. It's world is very much like theirs, and has the same charm. I feel like a lot of people fall in love not only with the romance of those books, but with the world, and how different (and romanticized) it was (especially for the comfortably rich!) - it's social politicking and its long walks in the park. And GJ (I'm tired to typing the whole title with italics) does NOT disappoint in this regard. But it also goes a good step further by embracing the language of the time and its notable failings. What I mean by this is not that the characters use older english, or that they use different, more eloquent vocabulary - you can find all that, sure, as you can in Austen. What I mean is that a lot of the story in GJ is about its characters navigating spaces which they do not have the vocabulary for. And it really brings out how very important vocabulary is.

As an example,<MAJOR Spoilers> the characters in this show do not have a word for  rape. There is a character who has been a victim of this terrible crime in the past, and does not have the language to express it. She struggles terribly, she does not understand what happened to her or what it means, and she feels locked up and isolated by her inability to tell anyone what happened. And even when she does communicate it, because they do not have that word - rape - it is difficult for her to accept that it was, in fact, everything which rape entails, i.e. a crime committed against her for which she is blameless. The suffering that this causes can be seen in many aspects of the show.  The characters also don't have a word for 'lesbian'. Which is part of what Anne Lister feels like a character who is so self-defining. She cannot be lumped into a group. She is herself. And that is all. She can express it in her own way - describing her love exclusively for 'the fairer sex' - but does so without any of the modern ideas of identity therein. It's hard to say if this helps or hurts Lister, and I'm sure I could wax eloquent on that for quite a while. But what's really interesting to me is as I said, what the lack of vocabulary does for these characters - not just the main two either, all of the characters have a hard time describing the central narrative and its twists and turns. Which, to be honest. feels a lot like, well, life. We are all still trying and failing to find the terms with which to describe our experiences, and ourselves. </Spoilers>

Another aspect of its setting that Gentleman Jack does not shy away from, which I really enjoy is, surprisingly enough, religion. One concern I had when I heard that this show was a fictionalized account of a real story, and especially with that nickname of 'first modern lesbian' is that they would make Anne a perfect, modern, 21st century woman and then put her in 1832. Make her represent all the 'modern' values most common to the lgbt+ community. I was also scared, in general, that the Church would, as it so often has in history, show itself poorly in this story, and that the writers would capitalize upon this. Watching it, though, I was delightfully surprised to find the exact opposite. Anne Lister was a Christian, an Anglican, and a lesbian all at the same time. And the show embraces this. When someone tries to tell her that what she does is against God, Anne insists that no - she is acting as God made her, and she believes that she was made in his image. Which is itself super interesting. To any who would say 'God hates gays', Anne would say 'No he doesn't, he made them.' And while I don't agree with Anne on everything, God's love for all of his creation is a message which I can really get behind.

The show is also so interesting though because I don't agree with Anne on everything. No matter how much of a wonderful character she is, she has such big and obvious flaws as well! Both in behavior and in ideology. Lots of them. And she's a better (and more accurate) character for it.

I could say several other things about this show (like how the costumes are absolutely to die for, and the music is wonderful, and the acting just superb) but I really wanted to come and talk about what I mentioned at first - the subjective, contextual things which make GJ special, not in general, but to me.

I appreciate several aspects of this show on a personal level. I am always down for women-who-do-'men's'-jobs stories and characters, and it's one of the reasons I watched the show in the first place (I didn't even mention that the major plot of this show is actually that Anne is battling to open a coal mine on her land.) but I've tried to narrow this down to two lessons - which are actually more like one lesson - derived equally from the two main characters, Anne Lister and Ann Walker (yes they're both named Ann(e). The show does a surprisingly good job not making this confusing). I feel like the show - through the example of Anne's own character, and the growth-filled character arc of Ann - has been really empowering for me in a way I don't see people talking about, which is kind of just the message: Go and do things! Make decisions! Choose your own way! Do the impossible!

(this isn't really a spoiler but just in case <spoilers>)Throughout the show, Ann Walker struggles severely with her mental health. This is another example of them not having words. Because modern diagnosis of depression, etc. weren't available, poor Ann was labeled "hysteric" (a diagnosis which is NOT A THING), and because of her struggles and her status as an orphan, she has spent her entire life having all of her choices made for her, with her just doing her best to make everyone around her happy. And if that isn't a big ol' MOOD I don't know what is. I should clarify - I have never been treated badly, as Miss Walker has. Not anything like that. My parents are terrific, and supportive and not controlling. But something about Miss Walker's situation rang deep inside me, something which I've been able to put into words only through therapy sessions. It's the feeling that life is something that happens to me, and not something I do. This is exactly what happens to Ann Walker in the show, and her entire character arc is about overcoming it: About finding confidence not only to say what she wants but to act on it. To not wait for someone else to suggest it or agree. Which is exactly what I want, and also exactly what Miss Lister embodies. It's an amazing pairing - one character who embodies and lives an empowered life, to show what that means and what it looks like, and another character who is still struggling and working to get there, just like me. </spoilers>

There are, of course, a few things I could point out as points of contention with the show. I could have a whole other post about those. But right now I want to focus only on the positives. Which is that this 'jaunty' little show about a woman so different than me has made me feel empowered to make Changes and take Charge of my own life.

So yes. If you have access to HBO or BBC, I highly suggest this show. As I said I know it won't be for everyone, but I think that no matter what your feelings concerning lgbt+ topics, the show has a very empowering message to everyone - or perhaps just people who struggle with depression like me. It also is an excellent testament to the importance of vocabulary in understanding and sharing our lives. And on top of all that, it's really REALLY well made! (also: if you've seen this show PLEASe message me I don't know a single other person who has and as you can see I am dying to discuss it).

Thanks as always for reading.

R

Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise him all creatures here below. Praise him above, ye heavenly hosts. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.

P.S. Also - for those who know my love of runes, I am learning Anne Lister's code! It's quite simple to learn but hard to type, and harder to read in her hand. But I'll give it a go with the song above:

+p24=3n5ovp5_8Q5_3:(d3?4\n=vd58  +p24=3Q4_3:)p32~6p3=Q3p3(3d58  +p24=3Q4_2(5g373Q32g3\d7Q5=~=  +p24=3Q2V3p=5\xQ5d7nQ5=~ 2_3\


EDIT: I finished the audiobook of the Gentleman Jack companion biography of Anne Lister this morning - it’s super interesting. I’ve never encounter a companion book like it, because it’s not just a read-along or anything - it's a biography of a real person that just so happens to be focused only on the months portrayed in the show. And if you see the show first, you spend the whole time noticing the choices they made on what to portray and what not to and what to trim down, and how many direct quotes from Anne they kept. I don’t know how I would feel if I read/heard the book first before the show, but encountering them in this order only heightens my appreciation of both.